Napkin Doon is a jerk

Strong words, I know. Read on.

A few days ago, I received a bubble mailer from Napkin Doon. It was unexpected, and I was excited. You see, the last bubble mailer he sent me contained a Phil Rizzuto relic. My mind was racing as I ran upstairs, bubble mailer in hand, straight into the bathroom like Ralphie when his Little Orphan Annie decoder ring arrived.

I gently tore open the bubble mailer, so as to not accidentally damage the treasures from Cleve's that awaited me. Would it be a jersey card? An on-card auto? Heck, a sticker auto? Vintage? Minis? Vintage minis?

I peered inside and saw a snap case; a case normally reserved for the rarest of baseball player picture cards. I reached inside, and immediately felt a strange burning, tingling sensation in my fingers as they came in contact with snap case. With the skin melting from my hands, I looked at the "present" Napkin sent me in disbelief:

 

Your eyes are not deceiving you. It's a 1990 Topps Rance (Rance? Really? Not Lance? Or France?) Mulliniks. The card was covered in old, moldy remnants of a substance we were lead to believe was bubble chewing gum.

See, it all goes back to this post: http://napkindoon.blogspot.com/2013/03/garbage-pail-topps.html . I made what I considered to be a humorous comment at the time, asking if the Mulliniks was for trade when Napkin whined that his 23 year old cards were gum-stained. Apparently, the card was for trade.

I was hoping to salvage the snap case at least, but I don't have a Hazmat suit laying around to remove the Rance.

On another note, I'd like to express my disappointment in the USPS for allowing such a package, containing such dangerous materials, to successfully make it through their rigorous screening processes.

Nap, "thanks" for the "gift." You're one heck of a guy, and the blogosphere is a better place with you. Now quick, somebody Bip me so I can move on from this travesty.