Thursday, April 25, 2013

Napkin Doon is a jerk

Strong words, I know. Read on.

A few days ago, I received a bubble mailer from Napkin Doon. It was unexpected, and I was excited. You see, the last bubble mailer he sent me contained a Phil Rizzuto relic. My mind was racing as I ran upstairs, bubble mailer in hand, straight into the bathroom like Ralphie when his Little Orphan Annie decoder ring arrived.

I gently tore open the bubble mailer, so as to not accidentally damage the treasures from Cleve's that awaited me. Would it be a jersey card? An on-card auto? Heck, a sticker auto? Vintage? Minis? Vintage minis?

I peered inside and saw a snap case; a case normally reserved for the rarest of baseball player picture cards. I reached inside, and immediately felt a strange burning, tingling sensation in my fingers as they came in contact with snap case. With the skin melting from my hands, I looked at the "present" Napkin sent me in disbelief:
Your eyes are not deceiving you. It's a 1990 Topps Rance (Rance? Really? Not Lance? Or France?) Mulliniks. The card was covered in old, moldy remnants of a substance we were lead to believe was bubble chewing gum.

See, it all goes back to this post: . I made what I considered to be a humorous comment at the time, asking if the Mulliniks was for trade when Napkin whined that his 23 year old cards were gum-stained. Apparently, the card was for trade.

I was hoping to salvage the snap case at least, but I don't have a Hazmat suit laying around to remove the Rance.

On another note, I'd like to express my disappointment in the USPS for allowing such a package, containing such dangerous materials, to successfully make it through their rigorous screening processes.

Nap, "thanks" for the "gift." You're one heck of a guy, and the blogosphere is a better place with you. Now quick, somebody Bip me so I can move on from this travesty.


  1. Mr. Doon is a little bit genius.
    That card is a genuine GU, gum-used.

  2. "Napkin Doon is a jerk."

    I'm kind of surprised that post title hasn't been used more often.

    You don't like my gift? Isn't it the thought that counts?

  3. Hilarious.

    It's almost worth placing some terrible, random cards in highly protective cases just for a chuckle.

    I can't wait to your return salvo, LC!